I know, I know, another post about a dream cast for Disney’s live-action movie ‘Hercules’. But I’ve been planning this one for a while, okay? I even have the receipts to prove it. My best friend and I planned this in August ’19, before it was cool.
For those of you that don’t know, rumours swirling around the internet suggest that Disney are looking to remake their 1997 classic movie ‘Hercules’, following the slew of ‘Cinderella’, ‘Dumbo’, ‘Aladdin’… okay, imma stop right there, because Disney seem to be remaking everything. I’m actually excited for this one, though! ‘Hercules’ is the most underrated Disney movie (don’t @ me), and if they do it right, this movie could be absolutely magical. I’ve been pondering this cast for a while, so delve with me and see who I’d like to bring those animated characters to life on the big screen…
Hercules / Chris Hemsworth
Yup, where better to start with than the main man himself? The big slice, the big ol’… Jerkules. Hercules (honey you mean HUNKules) is an equal balance of confidence and shyness, of heroic and love-struck, so the actor that takes up the role of the leading man needs to have the acting chops to back it up, not just the God-like looks. That brings me to the one, the only, Chris Hemsworth. His variety of roles shows that he’s got a pool of resources to call upon to bring a multi-layered Hercules to live-action reality.
Sure, Hemsworth has acted as a God before (albeit in Norse mythology), but I believe that he can go the distance and delve into the Greek mythos and pull off a stellar performance that would leave the Titans quaking.
Meg / Mila Kunis
Ah Meg, my little flower, my little bird, my little nut-Meg. Perhaps the most iconic Disney heroine (no? Well, she should be), meaning that a lot of pressure rests on the woman who’s gonna take her up to the big screen. Susan Egan did a wonderful job giving Meg a sultry, deep voice that only accentuated her character, and I can think of nobody better to do the same to a modern age than Mila Kunis.
Yeah, the entire internet seems to want Ariana Grande to take the part. That’s cool and all, but I don’t quite know if Grande has the zest to really pull off that role. Mila, on the other hand, oozes with spice and sass, and I can already picture her donning that iconic purple gown and serenading us with ‘Won’t Say I’m In Love’.
Phil / Danny DeVito
I’m gonna keep this one real short and sweet for ya. There’s only one choice to play Phil in the live action ‘Hercules’, and that choice is Danny DeVito. If it ain’t DeVito, I ain’t DeWatchin’.
I mean, it might be a liiiiiittle bit odd to see Danny’s upper half CGI’d onto the legs of a faun, but hey, I’m prepared to see that hot mess unfold before my very eyes.
The Muses / Orpah, Lizzo, Rihanna, Queen Latifah and Jennifer Hudson
Let’s be real, The Muses are the stars of ‘Hercules’. From the second they take over from the drag of the prior narrator, they fill the movie with vocals, choreo and oomph. You go, girls. Side note: The Muses are among my favourite Disney characters… ever!
My dream line-up for the Muses in the live-action Hercules movie would be Orpah, because, well, duh, it’s Oprah. Queen Latifah, Jennifer Hudson, Lizzo and Rihanna would also make my personal casting, because, well, I couldn’t picture anyone else pulling their roles off so well. Honestly, seeing that bunch of badass queens on the big screen would make all of my ‘Hercules’-fanboy dreams come true. Make it happen, Disney, it’ll be worth it. And that’s the gospel truth.
Hades / Matt Bomer
If there’s one God you don’t want to get steamed up, it’s Hades. He ran the uuuuuuuunderworld. Damn straight he did. Hades is an unforgettable Disney villain, complete with both witty jokes and an overwhelming rage. Y’know who I could picture playing Lord of the Dead? I’ve got a plan to shake things up, and that plan is Matt Bomer.
Bomer shows a great deal of acting chops in both ‘Doom Patrol’ (I’m gonna post about this amazingly underrated show one day, so if you’re interested make sure to follow me on Twitter for updates), and ‘American Horror Story: Hotel’. The latter showed that he doesn’t shy away from the dark and macabre, while the former shows his acting skills on a variety of levels. Seeing him on a throne ruling the very depths of Hell? Hell yes. Honestly, if this happens, a star would truly be born.
Zeus / Idris Elba
Side note: I can never look at a picture of Disney’s Zeus without hearing his dramatic scream when he discovers his son has been taken by the deceptive Hades. And who could do that scream pretty darn well? Idris Elba! He’s got the deep, booming voice and the commanding prescience of someone who truly does rule Olympus.
My only ask for the Disney remake of ‘Hercules’ is that they keep in the gigantic stone statue scene where Herc meets his father for the first time. Imagine that in live-action glory? *heart eyes emoji*
Hera / Cate Blanchett
Behind every Zeus, there’s a Hera just pushing him along. The Queen of Olympus needs to be both kind and badass, and Cate Blanchett can deliver that performance without a hitch (see: her in ‘Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring’). Trust me, you wouldn’t wanna cross her. Again, she’s played a Norse goddess, but switch it up and get into the realms of Greek mythology, girl!
And there we have it for my dream cast for Disney’s live-action ‘Hercules’! Who knows if we will ever get this film, and, if we do, I’m sure the cast line-up will look nothing like this. But hey, a Disney fanboy can dream, right?
What about you guys? Who would you like to see be cast? My mind drew a blank at both Hermes and Pain and Panic. Somehow I can’t picture them beyond their coloured hues, so let me know in the comments below who you think would suit those roles! There’s also the Fates to consider…
If Disney do ‘Hercules’ right, they could truly make something special. It could even go beyond the original movie, spawning a sequel or two that further explores the world of Greek mythology.
Just imagine how pretty this movie is gonna be, too! Olympus, Herc’s training, seeing the dark and gloomy Underworld… Damn, I need it to happen (though I fear I have extremely high expectations that aren’t gonna be met…)
As ever, stay safe, stay geeky, and be kind, always.