Hello, internet! I haven’t posted anything on my little corner of the web since March 14th, where I reviewed one of my favourite books ever – ‘The Starless Sea’. Since then, the world has plunged into despair with a global-virus, a general sense of gloom and pandemonium and the great unknown of the seemingly endless lockdown ahead of us. I hope you’re all staying safe, keeping healthy, staying inside and social distancing during this time – and trying to make the best of what is a shitty situation.
Truth be told, though, I ran out of steam for updating this blog way before that. I think it was due to a mix of factors. Creative fatigue being the main one; the well from whence my words come simply dried up and ceased to function.
Another factor was how was approaching running Screen Streams. It was coming from a place of ambition, sure (God, I’m such a typical Slytherin), but that sense of ambition translating into something that was cold and clinical. My posts felt… vacant, as though I was working for a national publication as opposed to writing for my own sense of creativity and sanity. That, my friends, is something you shouldn’t actively try and pursue through a hobby.
I was getting obsessed with my view count – how many hits I was getting on here daily. I’d refresh it like a lunatic, checking in every few hours – then every hour, then multiple times and hour, desperate to see who was checkin’ in, plugging it across every social media platform and forum I could find. I was wrapped up in Instagram likes, engagements across social media – and, well, that just isn’t fun. I even considered deleting the entire thing (this site costs money to run, ya know, and I haven’t earned a penny back).
Buuuuuut, I’m back! Moving forward, this blog is going to be a more personal, geeky space, where I write about my own experiences with things as well as the usual reviews and articles. I’m going to write – but I’m going to write for me, not for a trickle of cash or in the hopes of gaining a few hundred more monthly visitors.
With that said, a fair few things have happened since I wrote on here (aside from the global virus, of course). I’m still working, so I’m blessed, really. I’m slowly chipping away at that ever-elusive novel idea, ploughing onward out of pure spite at this point. I took a trip to Brighton with some of my favourite people in the world, where one of my best friends found her wedding dress (!!!!!!).
I’ve been playing the new Animal Crossing game obsessively. Like, it’s so fuckin’ good, man. Lady Gaga aka my fave singer of all time released her sick comeback single, ‘Stupid Love’, which I adore. I got tickets to go and see her in July, so fingers crossed that comes off. A shit ton of events have been cancelled (I was literally supposed to go and see Avril Lavigne tomorrow, but alas, that’s not come to pass). But understandably so. The world needs time to repair. Rebuild.
The Weeknd dropped ‘After Hours’, which is one of my favourite albums of the past few years. Dua Lipa’s ‘Future Nostalgia’ is high in my replay zone, filled with 80s-inspired bops I can’t get enough of. So hey, the world’s fallen into disarray but there’s been some good entertainment stuff to consume!
I’ve also been working out, deciding I need to do something to get my ass in gear, to quiet the shaking mental-health that’s been bouncing around at the back of my mind over the past week or so. I need those endorphins to fire up, man!
So there we have it, my trifecta of shit to get my life together: Exercising, writing my book and blogging. The rest of 2020 – I’m coming for you.
– J x
(PS: That snap is an old one of me living my best life in Amsterdam last year… Take me back pls!)